Monday, August 21, 2006

My life is insane. I have been traveling, with a 4 month old and a 3 year old for the better part of a month. Literally. And the few days that we were home, we packed, moved and sold our house. My kids don't know where we are, where they will sleep, where the next meal is going to be eaten. But they seem in remarkably good spirits.

Right at this moment there is peace. Quiet. I'm at my parents in Michigan and everyone is asleep but me. I finished my first round of writing for MediMedia, and wow. I actually enjoyed stretching my brain a little, but writing a LOT of about things one knows NOTHING about is challenging. Especially on a 2 week deadline in which you move, take care of your kids, stay with your inlaws and fly half way across the country ALONE with 2 babies, and then stay with family. Perhaps a little more than I should have taken on at that time, but wow, I DID IT! Hopefully it didn't stink.

I went to a BUCKLE store today! Yea, only my fav. store of all time now. My sister turned me onto it and I absolutely adore it. I want to take the whole site for myself so NO ONE ELSE CAN WEAR THEM. My sis has the bestest jacket in the whole world. I tried to steal it but she found me out. Sigh. I asked her to find me one and she couldn't. Sigh. I have talked about that jacket for months now. I tend to get obsessive about things. But the store was fun, and I surprised my Mom by buying her a jacket she saw and wanted and leaving it on her bed. I like doing things like that.

I've been picking out the color scheme for the new house. Lots of fun, but involves very intense thought. Im not even joking, I have probably put about 20 hours of thought into it. But im close now. Very close. :-)

I should go to bed now. I should...but I think I will go troll the buckle site for a few minutes.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

We moved! As in closed on one house and are staying in my in-laws apt. right now. Tomorrow morning I'm flying ALONE with two kids to Michigan. Ugh.

Attached are a few pics of my kids. They just crack me up. You can see that James has hair in one of them and now has none. That happened in like 3 weeks.

Enjoy. heheheh.

Monday, August 07, 2006

ok, never mind, the link below doesn't work. but here are some pics (the comments go with the picture underneath, I dont' have time to fix the HTML right now, we are moving tomorrow.)

Front of House

Dining Room (they are taking the chandelier)

Kitchen (they are taking the table)

Grace's Room

Guest Room (needs paint, eh?)

Living Room

James' Room

Saturday, August 05, 2006

oh dear goodness...

we are moving in like 3 days and I like to pretend that ITS JUST NOT HAPPENING.

we are committed to BUYING a MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE. that alone scares the bejeebees out of me. that sounds like an awfully lot of money and its a good house, even a very nice one but it is by no means a mansion or new and its right accross the street from a school. ny is crazy.

i dont want to go on vacation. i just got back. i want to be home where i can recharge a little and relax a little and maybe cook dinner. cook dinner? what's that? I have 3 plates and 1 skillet. my daughter knows how to order from a waiter and give back menus and asks which fork to use. we are creating a monster.

sigh. my watch STILL hasn't turned up.

but i have started on this house's inspiration book.

i started lists in it. I HATE plastic. Plastic forks in particular. I LOVE white fluffy towels. but who does not really?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Here is where I will have a good closet full of clothes that I love and that will fit me and that I will be a size 8 that is just on the large side, and I will complain that I might need to buy a size 6. Oh, and high heel shoes that are super comfortable and a bag collection that will be awesome (and not covered in milk) and a bunch of pretty diamonds and a cartier watch. :-)

Or maybe just where we might be happy and content and nearer our church and jobs. And hopefully not too close to NYC enough to get bombed. A great bag won't hurt.
Oh My.

My life has been one horrible, insane, and happy ride since I last posted.

The horrible part. My dog died. My beloved little Yorkshire terrier. Kacey M. Sikora. He was born on April 4, 1997 and passed away on July 21, 2006 at about 3pm. I didn't get to say goodbye. *()&^*(&%^*^%^^&% traffic. The vet called us from NYC and said we needed to get down there as soon as possible. We had no idea it was that serious, so we jumped in the car and didn't make it. I had a panic attack while saying goodbye to him. Felt like I was choking and couldn't breathe. He died from a collapsed esphosogus (I know, i can't spell and I don't care). They were able to make him comfortable with muscle relaxers and an oxygen chamber but it just wasn't enough. Rest in Peace my beloved dog. You made my world feel safer and happier just by being in it. I will miss you for the rest of my life. Tears.

The insane part. My son is 3 months old. He has been in Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Georgia, Tennesee, Delaware, Maryland, D.C., Colorado, Arizona and who knows where else. The majority of that has been within hte last month. My daughter wakes up and asks where we are. She came home last night and said we were "staying in our old house and not another hotel, huh?". This will be our "old house" in exactly 1 week from today. This house has been my shelter through loosing 3 babies, countless rounds of IVF, IUI, frozen cycles, many shots and their outcomes, a 5 week hospital stay, 4-5 months of bedrest, crying so hard on the floor I thought my heart could never recover, throwing up so hard on the floor I thought my stomach was surely gone...and bringing my two miracles home and gazing in their eyes so hard that I thought heaven must be in my living room at 3am in the morning. Seeing countless sunrises through gritty eyes as a baby is nursing or eating yet again. Learning what family really, truly means when you call at 8pm on a Friday night and they come. to stay. for 4 months. just because you are their family. when your mother flies in to stay. on and off. for 4 months during a horrible illness and a phD. just because she is yours and you are hers. when your husband stays every single night in the hospital next to you AFTER working all day and driving home to put your daughter to bed and then coming all the way back to try and make you smile. so you aren't going through this alone. that you have family that brings a 2 month old and their 2 year old and your sisters and pizza to party in the maternity ward to make you have one moment of smiling. this house has seen a lot of my life. it has been a good house. we don't know where we are going.

The happy part. Very good, close friends got married. John & Hazel: July 23, 2006. David & Belinda: July 30, 2006. Lovely, different weddings. Happy moments. My favorites: Hazel & Her Dad dancing. Such emotions in moments. "Little Ashley" singing and the look in everyone's eyes. My daughter dancing her BOOTY off. Having the time of her life. Seeing all the people that have been so important in my life over the last 12 years make time to just BE THERE. no matter what.

We are looking for a house we might buy. I like it but it's expensive. Expensive enough it makes me nervous. We shall see.

Life is a roller coaster. The bottom drops when you least expect it, but the highs are top of the world. Corny, yes. True, yes. I'm trying to gather all the moments together to look at later.