Friday, December 08, 2006

At 30 years old, I am:
- A Mom. With a capital "M". Full into Mommy duties. I feel like I am finally IN my life, and not waiting for it. I have two little souls who are the center of my thoughts, and the reason for most of the things I do. And sometimes I worry that I am short with them and not loving and encouraging enough. I need to stop more moments and listen to my daughter tell me WHAT that imaginary (stuffed) rabbit Cumberlowe is up to (they have a phone relationship), and to hold my giant 8 month old son...just hold him and remember what he feels like.
- A Wife. For almost 10 years now. I've been a good one, and sure, sometimes a bad one. I have gone from being a spoiled and scared 20 year old who was concerned because this busy new world was way too hard to figure out to a slightly more wiser 30 year old woman who knows exactly where my priorities lie...at home with my family. I'm working not not expecting as much as partnering. To let my needs and wants be known, and to work on a plan so that they get met, but don't override my partners.
- A daughter and grand-daughter. I'm learning to not be so much a child in this relationship, but to be a caretaker also. The circle of life continues, our parents become our friends, and our grandparents become our responsibility. That is what makes a full and content life, understanding and knowing that you have a role in other's lives. A role to support them, love them, nurture them...it's not just for them to do for you as was done in the childish past. One big and important thing I have learned from my husbands family is support. I honestly never knew the european idea of family and I think that Americans are cheating themselves. We have our kids, give them to others to raise (not my parents thankfully), boot them out the door at 18, then spend our later years in a "old folks home" because we have taught them that their lives should be too busy to center around their family. We are also a nation that moves...we don't keep our family around us anymore. Our options are almost too open. What is really the most important thing? Because of medical issues in our family this year we have really had to pull together. Be there. It's important.
- A Christian. I'm still working on my definition of this, and I don't spend enough time on it. But here is what I've figured out:
"This is what the Lord requires of Thee, Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with thy God." I try and think on that every single day.

Ok, this rambling will continue...I've got a dirty, cranky baby screaming "MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!!"

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