Monday, August 20, 2007

Today is Your day...
Your mountain is waiting,
so get on your way!
(Dr. Suess was a freaking genius!)

So, my mountains? Well, my house looks (again) like it blew up...I'm never as organized as I would like to be and my stupid "n" key does not work as it should, resulting in hurting hands as I pound away.

Yeah, those arent mountains, huh? More like molehills or moguls (sp?). My mountains are the big questions like where should my kids go to school? When should they go to school? Where should we live? What career should I have? Am I a boring person because I esentially have no career right now? (Although, should I meet you and you should ask, I would tell you I am a graphic designer/ freelance writer. Which is true. But certainly not full time.)

I bought the Oprah magazine because it promised to tell me exactly how to find my creative career bliss! OH! I thought! OPRAH SHOULD KNOW! FINALLY. Well, I haven't finished the magazine yet, but the only advice I got was that if I have been out of the workforce for over two years (their stat was out of the 37% of college educated women that quit to stay home, 90% are ready to go back to work in 2 years...does that sound right? Like, uh, sorry kid, you hit two and got difficult so Mama's outta here, hope daycare is good for you!) Maybe its just me and I am a bit bitter? Yes, (as a close person pointed out) I derived some self esteem from my former job. I made important decisions! That bag you carefully put your brand new clothes in, I decided what color it was! Thats power for you. heheh. I sometimes have to remind myself that I do a job now. I raise my kids. The days are long and the years are short. I also take care of a large home, handle the bill paying, and try and fit in some work in there. But sometimes it doesnt feel important daily. Yes, Yes, it IS! I know. I'm here, I'm putting the time into my kids because they are the most important job I will ever have. But I miss having a career too. So, I plan.

Yesterday I was going back to nursing school. The day before I was going to apply to art directors positions. The day before I was going into photography. The day before I was going to open a home decor store. Sense some confusion?

But maybe thats life, huh? We grow, we think, we explore. Some days our path is exactly what we would like it, and some days it just is one step after another.

But I tell you, the prospect of driving kids around for the rest of my life terrifies me. But having someone else pick them up when they fall down terrifies me more.